Break Bad Habits - Relapses

What Causes People to Relapse?

Researchers have identified three main causes of relapses:

1. Overconfidence: The ex-alcoholic who says, “I can handle one drink,” is clearly in stage 5. As everyone in AA knows, overconfidence is the No. 1 cause of relapses among its members.

2. Daily temptation: A man who is fighting an addiction to pornography cannot walk into a movie theater that’s showing an X-rated film and ask God for the strength not to look at the screen. People in stage 4 still feel tempted. Success depends on removing daily temptations from your life. You can’t eliminate every temptation, of course. That’s why you need to master the countering techniques covered in stage 4.

3. Guilt and self-blame: Telling yourself that you aren’t strong enough to break the habit sets you up for a relapse. It’s part of the verbal cage that people construct to avoid responsibility for their choices.

Deep change must be associated with a new way of life. Research shows that a diet is successful when it is combined with eating healthier foods and exercising. Most of us don’t need to see research findings to believe this: We see the proof every day in our own lives and in the lives of people who are close to us.

The first danger sign for a dieter usually isn’t overeating, but weakening her commitment to a new lifestyle. She stops going to her exercise class. When she sits in front of the TV instead of exercising, she’s only one step away from serving herself a big bowl of ice cream.

Most gyms and fitness centers have mirrored walls. When she goes to the gym again, she will be reminded of the need to keep working on a healthier lifestyle. But if she stops going to the gym altogether, the lapse can become a total relapse.

Social pressures are still dangerous in stage 4. As far as possible, ex-smokers must stay away from environments where people smoke, and dieters must stay away from environments where people overeat. That’s why holidays are the most difficult times to start a diet. Setting a target date that coincides with the Christmas season is foolish. It makes more sense to start your diet after the New Year.